Kotep poofs two of their friends into a couple of useless stoner genies. Mature.
Above a sea of lotus columns, an impossible number of stars swirled in the purple of the night sky. Below the columns, Rush and Tama followed close at Kotep’s heels. They both guessed that getting lost in the jackal-god’s home was an invitation to get hit by some ironic curse or another.
"This is the hypostyle hall," Kotep said with a sweep of their hand, looking back over their shoulder. "It's where I do festivals, parties, strip clubs—that kind of thing."
Tama was only sort-of listening, but she nodded along. "Sick."
"So how do you fit all this into one pyramid?" asked Rush.
Kotep did their best not to sigh out loud. "This is a temple, not a pyramid. Pyramids are for dead people."
"Wait," Tama said, "You're not dead? I thought you were a mummy or something."
"I'm a god."
Rush asked, "Aren't mummies kinda gods though?"
Kotep didn't bother answering that. Instead, they led their two guests onward, past braziers filled with golden flame spilling light across the open hall, and into a smaller, cozier room, lit by oil lamps that filled the air with fragrance. Several couches surrounded a table spread with grapes and candied dates, roast vegetables and morsels of meat stuck through with ankh-shaped skewers, and sitting in the middle of it all, a tall silver hookah.
Before Kotep had even begun to say, "Help yourselves," Rush and Tama plopped down on the couches and started grabbing up handfuls of snacks. Not that Kotep minded—it saved them the trouble of convincing a couple dumb mortals to let down their guard.
"So is this like your living room?" Rush asked around the grapes stuffed in his mouth.
"No," Kotep said. From beneath the table, they drew out a silver lamp worked with ornate trim and laid it down in front of them. "This is the room where I turn you into genies."
"Huh?" Rush asked.
"Uh," Tama said.
Slooorp, went the lamp. It dragged them feet-first into the air, stretching them out like noodles and pulling them spiralling down and down into its spout. The room became a blur of light and color whipping around them, until they were swallowed up and send spinning down into the warm darkness of the lamp.
At last, Kotep had some peace. They picked up the lamp, plopped down on one of the couches with a small sigh, and gave it a little shake.
The bed of pillows that Tama had landed on shook and toppled her over onto the silk carpet. The sunlight falling across her face and chest stung like spice. Squinting, she pulled herself up and shook her head, only to find that her hair didn't tumble down into her eyes like it used to. Instead, it was pulled back in a high ponytail that tumbled down over her shoulder and across her chest, held in place by a golden ring. Her unruly curls had been tamed with cinnamon oil, which tingled in her nose if she breathed in too hard.
She brushed her fingers through her hair and muttered, "Oh my god." Then she saw what she was wearing and said, "Oh my gawd."
A blue bikini top trimmed in gold hugged her chest and dipped low in the middle to show off as much as possible. A thong clung around her waist while sheer, gauzy pants draped down to her ankles, loose but unable to disguise the bulge between her thighs. Thin gold chains dangled from her pierced ears; they danced and glittered every time she moved.
She looked ridiculous, and it was giving her a boner.
The room she found herself in was circular in shape. Geometric arches stretched up to the domed roof, covered in blue ceramic tile and silver filigree. Carpets and cushions were strewn across the floor. To one side was a small pool filled with clear water; to the other, a plush bed. What she didn't see was any way out.
"Rush?" Tama called out. She got to her feet and took a few tentative steps. The swish of delicate fabric and its feather-touch against her thighs were very distracting. "What's with these clothes?" she grumbled to herself, pausing to try to adjust her top, so that it didn't leave her quite so on display.
"At least you have clothes," came Rush's voice, turned lush and sweet. He sat up from beneath the pile of pillows he'd been buried under. His body had been turned quite blatantly feminine. In lieu of any actual clothing, he had been decked out in jewelry. Silver chains draped over his head and snout and hung between the fat nipple rings that dangled from his breasts. Silver earrings and bracelets and chokers around his neck...the only thing close to actual clothing he wore was a pair of translucent sleeves hanging from his silver armbands.
"What the fuck!" Tama gasped. "How come you get turned into a girl and I don't?"
"Hey, I would gladly keep my dick if it meant I got to wear pants," Rush said. One of his hands hovered anxiously around his crotch. He wanted to keep himself decent, but actually touching his bare mound would be too much of a reminder of how empty the space between his thighs now felt.
Tama stomped her foot and craned her head back to glare up at the domed roof. "Kotep, your stupid curse is making me dysphoric!"
A crackling spark of magic welled up from the top of the dome, then spun downward in a quick corkscrew until it struck her square in the chest. Between its own force and the sudden shift of her center of gravity, Tama stumbled backward and nearly fell on her own ass.
In an instant, she had gone from chubby to voluptuously thick. Her genie-bikini top now stretched tight across her heavy breasts. Her fluttery pants were loose enough to be spared from a similar fate by her round hips, but her thong was now squeezed tight across her ass.
Tama's cheeks burned beneath her fur. Her new figure made her outfit even more revealing. But something else felt different, something down between her legs. When she slipped her fingertips down between her thighs and nudged them underneath her belly-dancer clothes—
"Woah, Tama, it's just what you always wanted. You're finally fat."
"Oh my gawd, you're so fucking canceled…" Tama's voice had a new, almost comically seductive timbre to it. She trailed off, stroking her hand over her throat in awe.
Outside of the lamp, Kotep was stretched out on the couch. With a wave of one hand the coals in the hookah began to glow, and they reached over to pick up the long mouthpiece. Lifting the lamp in their other hand, they spoke down into its mouth: "You guys like chocolate, right?"
Kotep wrapped their lips around the mouthpiece and breathed in until the sweet smoke, rich with chocolate and a touch of spice that danced on the corners of their tongue, filled their chest. Then they pressed their lips to the mouth of the lamp, and breathed all of the smoke down into it. Once they were spent, they lifted their lips away, and plugged the lamp shut with their thumb.
"That ought to loosen you up," they said.
While the genies-in-training baked in the lamp, Kotep alternated between lazy drags from the hookah and snacking on sweetmeats. Minutes ticked by until they finally lifted their thumb from the lamp, and out puffed a little bought of smoke. Sitting up, Kotep turned the lamp over and started shaking it.
"Hey, rise and shine, dummies."
White wisps rolled out of the spout, growing darker and thicker until billowing blue smoke tumbled across the floor. A whoosh of wind rustled Kotep's hair as Tama and Rush came swirling out of the lamp. Their bodies solidified out of the smoke, tugging and flopping themselves apart from one another, until they were once more a cow and a badger splayed out on the floor of Kotep's temple.
Rush's head bobbed up off the ground. He rolled over and pushed himself up onto his knees. His thick eyelashes batted a few times and his lips hung open in a small 'O' until he grinned and let out a loose giggle. "Um, hi, master! My wish is your…uh, something..." he said.
Tama tried to turn herself over so she could crawl to her feet, but not only was she high, but she was also considerably larger and heavier than she was used to, and only managed to topple over onto her side. "Ohh my gawds you're so squeaky, you sound like a mouse!" she told Rush, biting back a fit of snickering.
Rush huffed. "Tama! Don't make fun of me in front of our master!"
"Uh, I thought Kotep was like...a mistress."
"No, you got it wrong. They're a mystery."
With that, Rush and Tama fell into a spell of giggles that only ended when Kotep stood up from the couch and snapped their fingers.
"All right, let's see if you girls are any good at wishes. I wish I had a pizza, right now," they said.
"You got it, master!" Tama chirped. She puffed out her chest, held her breath, and furrowed her brow in concentration.
"Hey, don't hog the wishes, wish hog!" Rush whined.
Tama's cheeks puffed out. Her eyes slowly went crossed. And then, after about ten seconds of intense concentration, a poof of smoke erupted from beside her to reveal a brand-new bicycle.
Now Rush had a chance to outdo Tama. He folded his arms out in front of his chest, closed his eyes, and nodded his head. In another burst of smoke, a box of Chinese take out appeared on the table next to the Egyptian delicacies.
Kotep lifted up the lid and peeked inside. "I don't even like fried rice," they said.
"Ohhh nooo," Rush moaned unconvincingly. "Then maybe you should let me take care of it..."
Kotep narrowed their eyes at Rush and Tama, and the entire carton popped out of existence.
"Aw, don't be mad!" Tama grabbed Kotep by the leg and hugged her chest against their calf. "We'll be your good little wish bitches. Ooh, you could wish for me to be your sexy concubine, like a gazelle or—"
Not to be outdone, Rush flung himself at Kotep's feet too. "No, you should wish for me to be, uh, a jackal harem girl! You like those, right?"
Rush was so eager to show off for Kotep that he was already concentrating his genie magic on turning into a jackaless. Tama didn't want Rush to get chance to upstage her, so she was already gathering her own energy to turn herself into a gazelle girl.
Poof!—Poof! Blue genie smoke swallowed up both of them at once.
Tama's tall jackal ears perked. Her tail started to thwap frantically against the floor. Her tongue spilled out of her mouth; she couldn't keep herself from panting excitedly. The genie-couture eyeliner she wore had flipped—from black against her brown fur, to golden against her black fur.
Beside her, Rush's head swayed under the weight of his long gazelle horns. Kneeling on the ground as he was, his new hooves stuck out just beyond his big bare ass.
A moment of confusion passed between them, each baffled and offended that the other had turned into what they were trying to turn into. But that didn't last long; soon, they were pawing at Kotep's legs again and nearly dragging them down to the ground.
"Master, what if you turned into a big mean hyena girl and bullied me while you fuck me? Doesn't that sound like something you'd wish for—"
"I bet you wish you were a big hunky jackal man so you could make me suck your dick and then fuck me till I cum my brains out—"
Kotep grabbed the lamp and held it up into the air. All the smoke that had rolled out of it cam pouring back in, slurping up into the spout in reverse. Rush and Tama's legs dissolved into billowing smoke trails, curling back into the lamp. Though they tried to cling to Kotep's legs, they were both pulled in before long, swirled up and sucked back down.
The jackal god let out a sigh of relief, then pursed their lips. "Now, what to do with you until you sober up..."
With one last poof, the lamp vanished off into the mortal realm, where it would pop up at some thrift store or garage sale or something, to be bought by a mortal who had a whole lot of weird horny sex wishes to make.