Jewel Roxx

Too much of an 80's TV show turns a cat into a glam rock dinosaur. Explicit.

There had to be cosmic irony somewhere in this. He had called in sick for work today. But his boss didn't want him losing the whole day in terms of productivity, so at nine in the morning, wrapped in a blanket and sniffling, he took a big bag of VHS tapes from one of the other interns.

He was being asked to watch cartoons as his job, and he didn't want to do it; that was the ironic part. He was sleepy, and his fur was all messy from rolling around constantly, and he wasn't exactly thinking straight. But his boss would want his 'trendy young 16-24 year old feline demographic' opinion on...he pulled one of the tapes from the bag. Jewel Roxx.

It took an internet search to figure out what the hell he was going to be watching. A show made in the 80's about a dinosaur rock star who fought to defend the planet. Maybe it would kind of be...hipster bad? So at least he could be ironic about it. But considering it had been canceled halfway through its pilot, he didn't have high hopes.

He took out the tapes and shuffled them around until he'd gotten them in the right order, then took the pilot tape and stuck it in his VCR. He had to fish the remote out from under the coffee table before he plopped down on the sofa and adjusted his blanket around him. He reached for the tissues and blew his nose, then turned on the TV and hit play.

Incident Report XJA-0425-22

Stranded on an alien planet, a lone explorer devolves into a saurian beast. Explicit.



TEXTLOG 01 E.D. 14-02-2553


Crash site was 60 31'12"N, 113 02'45"W. Traveled at walking pace for 2.5 hours (approximately 12 kilometers) north by northeast. Currently within natural rock formation providing protection from elements. Supplies very limited and possibility of repair minimal. Please send rescue immediately.