Don't Enable Magic Animals

A cautionary tale about wishing that girls would find everything you say cute. Mature.

"That's not fair," said the young man.

"That's the rules," said the fox.

The fox was lying. There were no rules. Thus, there were no rules against lying about there being rules to get out of granting terrible wishes.

The little red beast stood atop a small boulder, which put him about at eye level with the man. The young man was standing on the ground, arms folded over a rough cloth tunic. A strip of fabric had been torn from the hem of his tunic and was now wrapped around the fox's left paw.

"That's the fourth one," the man complained.

"And all four of them were against the rules, so if you want a wish you'd better come up with one that isn't," said the fox.

"Can you tell me what the rules are?" the man asked.

"No. That's against the rules."

Silken

A cat tries to rob a Chinatown store, but its owner finds a better use for him. Explicit.

The lanterns were strung up, the already-cramped streets were choked with stalls and people, and every single shop was busy. Obviously, Chinese New Year was a big event in Chinatown, and that was what made it the perfect time for a bit of petty thievery.

See, all of the shop owners would be busy as hell—and likely not even in the shops, if they had a stall out on the street. With so many people around, one little orange tabby cat could easily go missing. No one would pick him out when the place was packed with tourists. He knew a couple of the back streets, since he'd come here a couple of times before. One of his friends had a thing for Chinese food. It was simple, easy, hard to fuck up. Get in the back of a shop, grab some expensive stuff, and make a couple hundred selling it all on the internet.

Liam had gone for the nondescript look. Hooded sweatshirt, pair of jeans, sneakers—just a college kid checking out Chinatown. There were some roadblocks that blocked off the back roads so that people wouldn't go back there, but it took no more than ducking underneath to get past them. No one said a thing to him, if anyone even saw him slipping past the barrier at all.

An Account of the Accession of Queen Mary IV to the Imperial Throne

A cat gets sucked into a world ruled by Victorian wolves and turned into their regent. Mature.

As requested by Her Majesty Queen Mary IV, Lord over all States of the Dominion, the following is an Accounting of the divers Events which preceded the Accession of H.M. Queen Mary IV to the Throne. The personal Account from which this History is constructed is my own as Royal Attendant Miss Abigail Hartford, and has been supplemented with other Accounts taken by Interview of others present for the Queen's Accession.

These Events began on a day in the Spring, upon which the kindly Weather was well disposed to Hunting. Thus I had left the Imperial City, having taken along with me Provisions and Victuals for the Day ahead, my Hunting Coat, and my Rifle. My Dogs carried my Sledge far afield into the Tundra, with the scent of some Beast (I had hoped to return with a Bear) in their Noses.

There was no Beast to be found, certainly not as such, that day. Instead, my Sledge was rocked by a Sound so terrible that my Dogs were frightened and which nearly knocked me into the Snow. As my Dogs were rendered useless through Fear and Shock, I resigned to leave them tied there on the Ice, and investigate the Source of the Sound on foot.

Jewel Roxx

Too much of an 80's TV show turns a cat into a glam rock dinosaur. Explicit.

There had to be cosmic irony somewhere in this. He had called in sick for work today. But his boss didn't want him losing the whole day in terms of productivity, so at nine in the morning, wrapped in a blanket and sniffling, he took a big bag of VHS tapes from one of the other interns.

He was being asked to watch cartoons as his job, and he didn't want to do it; that was the ironic part. He was sleepy, and his fur was all messy from rolling around constantly, and he wasn't exactly thinking straight. But his boss would want his 'trendy young 16-24 year old feline demographic' opinion on...he pulled one of the tapes from the bag. Jewel Roxx.

It took an internet search to figure out what the hell he was going to be watching. A show made in the 80's about a dinosaur rock star who fought to defend the planet. Maybe it would kind of be...hipster bad? So at least he could be ironic about it. But considering it had been canceled halfway through its pilot, he didn't have high hopes.

He took out the tapes and shuffled them around until he'd gotten them in the right order, then took the pilot tape and stuck it in his VCR. He had to fish the remote out from under the coffee table before he plopped down on the sofa and adjusted his blanket around him. He reached for the tissues and blew his nose, then turned on the TV and hit play.

Joining the Girls

While on vacation in the big city, a cat's friend gets turned into a trashy rat girl, then tries to do the same to him. Explicit.

The last night had whirled into an exciting blur. Rebecca had been with him for most of it. She had run off in some other direction, said there was someone who wanted to something something and she'd be back by morning, and he hadn't seen her since. Circ had ended up sprawled on the bed in the hotel room by the end of it all.

Their trip to the city had been a lazy, fun week for the two friends to kick back and do all the sorts of touristy things. They were leaving Sunday night, but they still wanted to make the most of it, so the two of them had convinced each other that going out to a club would be fun. And it was fun. The problem was getting up the next morning.

A Proper Belle

A cat inherits an old Southern manor, which comes complete with a friendly ghost who wants to dress him up. Explicit.

Trees whirred by in a green haze. The gentle undulations of the guardrail blurred into a wriggling wave. He had been on the road for a few hours now, but the exit was coming up soon.

'Dear Sir: It is with great sadness that I write to you today, to inform you of the death of Emmaline Beauregard, your great-aunt.'

Circ never heard of a great-aunt in the family. And he didn't know that he had any family in Georgia in the first place. In fact, he had assumed the first letter was a prank, or that the mail had delivered it to the wrong person despite both the letter and envelope bearing his name.

'Her will stipulates that the bulk of her estate is to be given to her youngest blood relative of legal standing. As you are the one to whom these conditions apply, we ask for an opportunity to speak with you, at your earliest convenience.'