A Tale of the Diluvian South

A folk tale from a flooded world about finding your way.

Way back, even before the waters came pourin down, Old Man Eli was feelin mighty angry. He gone and had Mami make them people, all the people down in the world. But they wasn't doin they job like he liked. They was making all kinds a noise and fuss and it made Old Man mighty angry. So what Eli do he start cryin. He don't want to bother no more. Big ol tears come rollin down his face, come rollin off his beard, come hammerin down onto de ground. Old Man Eli he gone wash them away with his tears.

Now down there with the people there was a girl name of Alice. She ain't nothing special, just a girl with a lotta sense. She work at a paper, writin down words other people done said and other people gone read, and she loved that job.

But then Eli's tears come, and the water came risin up from the ground and washin down from the sky. Whole town done start to panic, and back in those days towns was big, like you ain't even know half the people livin there. That's how big old towns was.

An Account of the Accession of Queen Mary IV to the Imperial Throne

A cat gets sucked into a world ruled by Victorian wolves and turned into their regent. Mature.

As requested by Her Majesty Queen Mary IV, Lord over all States of the Dominion, the following is an Accounting of the divers Events which preceded the Accession of H.M. Queen Mary IV to the Throne. The personal Account from which this History is constructed is my own as Royal Attendant Miss Abigail Hartford, and has been supplemented with other Accounts taken by Interview of others present for the Queen's Accession.

These Events began on a day in the Spring, upon which the kindly Weather was well disposed to Hunting. Thus I had left the Imperial City, having taken along with me Provisions and Victuals for the Day ahead, my Hunting Coat, and my Rifle. My Dogs carried my Sledge far afield into the Tundra, with the scent of some Beast (I had hoped to return with a Bear) in their Noses.

There was no Beast to be found, certainly not as such, that day. Instead, my Sledge was rocked by a Sound so terrible that my Dogs were frightened and which nearly knocked me into the Snow. As my Dogs were rendered useless through Fear and Shock, I resigned to leave them tied there on the Ice, and investigate the Source of the Sound on foot.

Jewel Roxx

Too much of an 80's TV show turns a cat into a glam rock dinosaur. Explicit.

There had to be cosmic irony somewhere in this. He had called in sick for work today. But his boss didn't want him losing the whole day in terms of productivity, so at nine in the morning, wrapped in a blanket and sniffling, he took a big bag of VHS tapes from one of the other interns.

He was being asked to watch cartoons as his job, and he didn't want to do it; that was the ironic part. He was sleepy, and his fur was all messy from rolling around constantly, and he wasn't exactly thinking straight. But his boss would want his 'trendy young 16-24 year old feline demographic' opinion on...he pulled one of the tapes from the bag. Jewel Roxx.

It took an internet search to figure out what the hell he was going to be watching. A show made in the 80's about a dinosaur rock star who fought to defend the planet. Maybe it would kind of be...hipster bad? So at least he could be ironic about it. But considering it had been canceled halfway through its pilot, he didn't have high hopes.

He took out the tapes and shuffled them around until he'd gotten them in the right order, then took the pilot tape and stuck it in his VCR. He had to fish the remote out from under the coffee table before he plopped down on the sofa and adjusted his blanket around him. He reached for the tissues and blew his nose, then turned on the TV and hit play.

Sip of the Ol' Moonshine

Drinking with a donkey guy leads to further donkey-fication. Explicit.

Amy's friend's dad knew someone who was friends with a guy who had a place out in the backwoods that, if the hype was true, was an 'awesome place for parties and shit'. This somehow meant that Amy had to be the one to go out and get the keys from the guy. There were like five people who had more of a connection to this guy than she did, but nope. It was her out rumbling in her mother's sports car down dirt roads so tiny that even her phone had given up trying to navigate.

The girl bouncing on the driver's seat was a little on the short side, and that fact did annoy her every so often. But the good side of being short was that even if you weren't that curvy, it was like an optical illusion that made it look like you had boobs, even if they would look a lot smaller on someone taller. Her ponytail bobbed with every big rock the tires rolled over. She had grit her teeth together to stop her jaw from clattering. And the road just kept on going.

It had been about an hour's drive into the middle of nowhere when she finally came to the end of what was now little more than a trail in front of a wooden cabin. It didn't look bad, to be honest—it was a decent size, had a porch out front, and even seemed to have a basement from the looks of it. She'd been worried there was going to be just a tin shack or something.

The guy she was supposed to met must have heard her pulling up, because as she was climbing out of the car, she heard the door of the cabin swinging open. She pushed the car door shut and rounded the car to see him coming out of the cabin.

Strawberry and Bubblegum

A diner serves up some tasty and transformative milkshake flavors. Mature.

We don't get a lot of regulars coming in at two in the morning, so I could figure they were the traveling sort. We're out on the highway so we get a lot of those types. Road trips, vacationing in California, heading to Las Vegas, that kinda thing. I was busy putting the clean glasses away, but you can't miss when a car pulls in, especially when it's so quiet.

So I gave them the 'Howdy and welcome to Allie's Diner!' thing when they came in. I think the first girl was kinda...well I don't wanna be mean but with that long brown hair and the big glasses and that teeny body she looked kinda like a mouse. And the other girl was a bit taller and had maybe a cup size on her friend, but I figured she could be some junior politician or something with that serious short hairdo and commanding kinda look.

I was gonna go and ask them what they wanted to drink but I could tell they were staring at my chest and whispering to each other. And I get it, it's cool! A lot of girls would love to have tits like mine. And I know how girls with little boobs are jealous of girls with big boobs, so it didn't even bother me. I wanted to help them out though.

Joining the Girls

While on vacation in the big city, a cat's friend gets turned into a trashy rat girl, then tries to do the same to him. Explicit.

The last night had whirled into an exciting blur. Rebecca had been with him for most of it. She had run off in some other direction, said there was someone who wanted to something something and she'd be back by morning, and he hadn't seen her since. Circ had ended up sprawled on the bed in the hotel room by the end of it all.

Their trip to the city had been a lazy, fun week for the two friends to kick back and do all the sorts of touristy things. They were leaving Sunday night, but they still wanted to make the most of it, so the two of them had convinced each other that going out to a club would be fun. And it was fun. The problem was getting up the next morning.